Forever a small fish in a big pond

Tuesday, 1 January 2019

What is Dwarfism?






Many people often ask what is Dwarfism? The simple answer is of course... a condition which means a person is of restricted growth. The truth however....

Dwarfism is.... 
-Being 20 years old and still the size of a six year old. 
-Knowing that even when you are 40 years old.. still you will be the size of a 6 year old. 
-Forever trying to come to terms with this 
-Being too small for adult clothes and yet too big for kids clothes.. 
-Never buying new clothes because well... It's impossible. 
-Learning to dodge rucksacks and briefcases when you're on a busy train
-Jumping off the train and hoping you land on the platform that feels 10 miles away



  -Asking, "Excuse me, can you reach this for me" everytime you enter a shop
-Sometimes leaving the shop without what you went in for because today you just don't have it in you to ask
-Flinching every time you hear the words "Mummy why is she small" and praying you hear the answer you want. 
-Learning to hold back the tears when in fact you don't hear an answer and instead watch as a parent pulls their child away from you. 
-Having 101 step stools everywhere possible in your house 




-Wanting to cry when you realise you've gone away and not taken one of those step stools
-Getting to a bar and realising you can't see over it to order your drink 

-Having to embrace the awkwardness that both you and the person serving you feels at this moment 
-Over thinking even the simplest of tasks and routines all based around what will be in your reach
-Training yourself to not need the bathroom when out because most of the time they're out of your reach anyway

-Feeling like a kid in a sweet shop when you discover something you actually can reach!




-Phoning a friend to come over because your parents are out and your dinner is on the top shelf in the fridge 
-Saying "It's ok I'll stand", When someone offers you a seat when in reality you daren't even attempt to climb onto it in public
-Realising you forgot to ask your Mum for something before she left the house and accepting you now have to go the whole day without it.
-Wondering if, I couldn't reach it, beats the my dog ate it, excuse
-Feeling like a burden when you have to ask for help with almost everything!!
-Being grateful for the friends who put up with helping you with everything!



-Escaping to the toilet in the middle of a 10 hour shift because everything hurts.
-Not knowing why everything hurts. 
-Not being able to explain why you hurt, You just hurt. 
-Trying to make baggy clothes look fashionable 
-Failing at this. 
-Hearing the word freak, weirdo, or loser on a daily basis. 
-Having to pretend like you didn't hear it 
-Having to pretend that it doesn't hurt. 
-Doubting yourself and your ability to carry out even the simplest of tasks
-Calling everything small after you because.. well... it's just what you do!😂



-Getting home from an awful day and then crying.......because you can't reach the light switch 
-Sleepless nights as you pay the price for every single move you made that day




-Going to work the next day and no one knowing of the pain from the night before
-Asking "They know the situation right?" Before you meet anyone new  because you daren't walk into a room and watch everyone's jaws drop... 
-Being afraid of a change of routine because it's taken you 6 months to adapt to managing this one
-Being jealous of your tall friends 


-Wishing you were your tall friends 
-Not really knowing how to explain any of this to your tall friends 
-Keeping your feelings hidden because crying over a light switch isn't really seen as the norm
-Wondering if anyone really understands 
-Worrying that people won't understand 
-Feeling like every hair has to be in place to make up for your obvious flaws
-Not giving a dam what you look like because let's face it... they'll laugh at you anyway
-Feeling both of these feelings at once. 
-Not really knowing how you're feeling
-Being Positive about everything 
-Wishing you didn't have to be 
-Being angry, but knowing it won't change 
-Being upset, but knowing it won't change 
-Forever imagining your life if you weren't small
-Wishing it would go away
-Wishing you were normal
-Accepting that THIS is YOUR normal





And not wanting to change any of it for the world.



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