Forever a small fish in a big pond

Thursday 15 February 2018

I was a little girl in a very big city!




One promise I made to myself when I first started University was that I would take every opportunity I was given. Considering the journey, I have taken to get to this point- I want to embrace it. However, when an opportunity arose to travel 350 miles across the world and experience life in Belgium for a week, I was tempted to break my promise. 4 months into Uni life, I was still faced with the weekly battle of commute, the traveling still hurt, the train journeys still daunted me, life away from home even for a couple of days a week still filled me with anxiety- so how on earth was I to prepare myself for such a trip?

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Saturday 10 February 2018

Body confidence


People seem to think that because I accept my body it means I'm body confident. Everyone always comments on how brave I am. How strong. But I'm not. I accept my size. I accept that I will always be small, but that's it. I accept it yes, but confident? I don't think so. 
I've been a dancer for 16 months now and I still remember it clearly.... the first day I walked into the studio, the studio that was ceiling to floor in mirrors. I could barely even look. Every time I did I felt sick. And there wasn't a makeup product to fix it.

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Tuesday 6 February 2018

Bullying..... It happens.... It hurts




Bullying affects on average 1 in 4 kids throughout school years, but 60% of them fail to seek support. 


I was in the 60%

September 2010.... the start of my secondary school journey, a time that I got told would be the happiest years of my life, the start of a new chapter.....Everyone told me I was ready. Everyone told me I'd always remember secondary school..... but what they failed to mention was that it would be for all the wrong reasons.

A milestone that was meant to be the start of a new life, resulted in me praying for a new life. Everyday. Every day I'd come home, slam the door. And hide. Every day I prayed. Prayed for it to stop. Prayed for someone to take it away. They say sticks and stones break your bones.... but it was their words that destroyed me.
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To the parent who pulled their child away from me....






To the parent who just pulled their child away...

No need to hush them, I already heard them ask you "what's wrong with that girl". I already saw them stare and I've already seen you pull them away in embarrassment. You hope I don't hear you, but I do, you hope I don't see you but I do... You're worrying I'll think badly of your parenting for having a child intrigued in my difference... I won't. You worry that I'll remember you, that I'll remember what you told them as you pulled them away from me, I won't..... However, your child will.

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