Forever a small fish in a big pond

Monday 31 December 2018

2018. A year in the life....

2018... what a whirlwind! Some of the lowest lows but also the highest highs. This year has been jam-packed with changes and challenges.. smiles and tears with some pain, but above all, it's been packed with the most amazing memories.


Tuesday 18 December 2018

MY FIRST SOCIAL- New friends, New memories

Growing up, I didn't have any contact or interaction with other little people, being born into an average height family, it wasn't until the age of 10 that I really started to realise that actually there were other people like me. Then at the age of 13, my world was transformed when our life with Little People UK began. Ever since we joined LPUK, I knew that I wanted to help to bring people together. My family did a fab job in bringing me up, and I wouldn't say my childhood was hard, however, It would've been a dam lot easier if I had known someone else like me. It doesn't matter how many people you have around you, sometimes when you're different, it's lonely. It's also scary.


Friday 19 October 2018

England. You've got some catching up to do

My biggest fear of travelling abroad, was not the airport madness, or the fear of getting lost, the unknown language or their weird and wacky foods, none of that really crossed my mind.... I knew I could handle Greece, but I didn't quite know how Greece could handle me.

When you have a disability, or a physical difference walking into a new culture is often daunting, and at times can be risky. For countries with historic cultures, often people who are different can be seen to be something they aren't, for example some people see little people as a lucky charm (don't get your hopes up guys, I've tried it, it doesn't work!😉) Coming away with that fear was huge... dealing with conflict surrounded by my home comforts is one thing, but the risk of doing so 1600 miles from home.... I didn't know if I could. 

But I can honestly say I am blown away. Sidari you've been so lovely. More than lovely. Today marks 5 days we've spent out here.... and I can say I've not had 1 negative encounter. Not 1. 5 days!! 5 whole days!! From reaching things off high shelves, to carrying my food back to the table, helping with suitcases, helping in public transport.... to just a simple smile. Sidari, you've won my heart. But as happy as life may feel right now... there's an element that's bittersweet.

 1600 miles. That's how far I had to travel in order to get a week, a week where no one stares. A week where no one shouts names. 1600 miles just to feel accepted. The name calling, the stares... I'm used to it. It's part of life and I know it always will be. But the last five days have been a taster, a taste to what life would be like if society was just a little more kind. It breaks my heart, and behind closed doors it tears my confidence in two because I know for a fact society doesn't accept me. Society doesn't accept difference. It fears it, more than I even feared coming here. But it doesn't have to be that way. One kind word. One kind gesture. That's all it takes, and if you can't say something kind.... Well then don't say anything at all.

 It's 2018. Stigmas. Stereotypes. F*** them. Get over it.... Sidari has.... England, we got some catching up to do❤️


Sunday 29 July 2018

5 tips for a Parent of a curious child

You're out and about and your child notices someone who looks a little different- Maybe they're in a wheelchair, maybe they're missing a limb... Maybe they're really small... or tall, whatever it is, it's understandable for a child of any age to be curious. Even as adults we may be curious too, but for children, the curiosity is much bigger- and it's how we respond to this curiosity that will shape the people they become.  You may not know all the answers to the questions they ask, and that's ok, you're not expected to know why I am short, or why someone else may look different but even without knowing the finer details, you can still make sure that your child sees our differences as a positive thing.....

Here are 5 of my top tips for parents of curious children.

1. A good thing to include in your responses is "Everyone is different" Make sure that they know that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT, not just the person they are questioning about. This could be size, hair colour, eye colour... Anything. Teach them about even the smallest of differences, this will help them to process the bigger ones.

2. Be Specific! "She has Dwarfism" This is easier with an older child, but sometimes it's ok to use words they don't understand, it will most likely spark new questions but it will only help them grow and develop more. Don't try and sugar coat or tiptoe round any disabilities, embrace them. This will encourage your child to do the same.


Sunday 29 April 2018

Follow your dream- International Dance Day💛

Two years ago I would've never have had the courage to perform. The thought of putting myself out there filled me with dread. However, now there's nothing in the world I love more....and that's thanks to the people who stand beside me for believing in me so much so that I started to believe in myself.

Dance and dwarfism doesn't always see eye to eye, some days it hurts. A lot. And some days I struggle to keep up... But still... I keep going and it is not my body that pulls me through but instead.. my passion and adrenaline. And despite knowing I am not the best... I know I am doing my best.


Saturday 31 March 2018

Finding out I wasn't alone...

Up until I was 13 years old I was the only little person in my world, I was born to average height parents and was the first one in my family to develop the condition, so yeah, it was just me. I was the only one. By the age of 6 all my friends began to tower over me. I remember coming home and asking the question, the question my mum had been dreading- Why?

It was hard to understand at first but as I got older my understanding grew but my ability to deal with it didn't. I was very lucky to have such amazing friends throughout my school years, who stuck by me through some of my toughest times- and honestly, I don't know where I'd be without them, but after I started secondary school the reality of being the small one soon kicked it, and it was becoming harder to deal as each week passed. I had so many questions, hormones had hit and I was starting to question my future. Getting a job, learning to drive, going to college, starting a family... all the things that every teenage girl dreams of- I didn't know if these things would even be possible for me.

When I hit 13, I began to stop talking about these things, or about my feelings, or about well anything... I wasn't sure that anyone really understood, It was hard, when so many people are trying to help you and trying to tell you what they think you wanna hear but really all that's going through your mind is "you'll never know""you'll never know what it's like" and I was right they wouldn't. I had so many people around me who loved and adored me and had only my best interests at heart- but still, when they told me it would be ok, they couldn't be sure.


Dwarfism- THE FACTS

If you can spare 1 minute today please use it to watch this video, then if you can spare another minute use it to share it with your friends and help spread Dwarfism awareness #EducationIsEverything


Friday 2 March 2018

Dear Dwarfism... a letter to my condition

Dear Dwarfism.... 

You test me every day. You reduce me to tears, fill me with anger, make me weak, make me tired...It's not fair you know... how hard you make somethings. Even the simplest of things. Why is it all my friends do things with such ease... yet you burden me with such struggle and pain. Why me? Why not them?


Thursday 15 February 2018

I was a little girl in a very big city!

One promise I made to myself when I first started University was that I would take every opportunity I was given. Considering the journey, I have taken to get to this point- I want to embrace it. However, when an opportunity arose to travel 350 miles across the world and experience life in Belgium for a week, I was tempted to break my promise. 4 months into Uni life, I was still faced with the weekly battle of commute, the traveling still hurt, the train journeys still daunted me, life away from home even for a couple of days a week still filled me with anxiety- so how on earth was I to prepare myself for such a trip?


Saturday 10 February 2018

Body confidence

People seem to think that because I accept my body it means I'm body confident. Everyone always comments on how brave I am. How strong. But I'm not. I accept my size. I accept that I will always be small, but that's it. I accept it yes, but confident? I don't think so. 
I've been a dancer for 16 months now and I still remember it clearly.... the first day I walked into the studio, the studio that was ceiling to floor in mirrors. I could barely even look. Every time I did I felt sick. And there wasn't a makeup product to fix it.


Tuesday 6 February 2018

Bullying..... It happens.... It hurts

Bullying affects on average 1 in 4 kids throughout school years, but 60% of them fail to seek support. 

I was in the 60%

September 2010.... the start of my secondary school journey, a time that I got told would be the happiest years of my life, the start of a new chapter.....Everyone told me I was ready. Everyone told me I'd always remember secondary school..... but what they failed to mention was that it would be for all the wrong reasons.

A milestone that was meant to be the start of a new life, resulted in me praying for a new life. Everyday. Every day I'd come home, slam the door. And hide. Every day I prayed. Prayed for it to stop. Prayed for someone to take it away. They say sticks and stones break your bones.... but it was their words that destroyed me.

To the parent who pulled their child away from me....

To the parent who just pulled their child away...

No need to hush them, I already heard them ask you "what's wrong with that girl". I already saw them stare and I've already seen you pull them away in embarrassment. You hope I don't hear you, but I do, you hope I don't see you but I do... You're worrying I'll think badly of your parenting for having a child intrigued in my difference... I won't. You worry that I'll remember you, that I'll remember what you told them as you pulled them away from me, I won't..... However, your child will.

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