Forever a small fish in a big pond

Thursday 9 January 2020

It isn't built for me..

Ever wondered what it's like down here? Ever thought about how the way I see the world may be different from you? Ever considered that how I see the room may look completely different to you... even if what we're looking at is the same? 

I took these photos for a university presentation- A micro-teach I had to present about my life. Something which despite being a blogger, and having done many public presentations before... it's something which still is hard to summarise in words. So I used pictures instead.

The top rows of all of these, are what my average heigh friend sees.... which means... you've guessed it... the bottom row is what I see. The same objects. The same day. At the same time. The same place.
Yet the views are completely different.

All these things are featured in my University, and all these things are ones I use on a daily basis, their essential to my lifestyle and study as a student.... yet... they're not built for me. None of them are. They're built for my friends. The average... the majority.

I'm lucky enough to have very supportive friends, who carry my load and make the fact all these things are out of reach almost forgettable..... but the truth of the matter is... they are. Initially anyway.

Being here 3 years now, I've got myself into a routine, I know my limits, I've learned ways around things and I've learned when I need someone else on hand when I can't achieve my outcome independently, but this thought process..... on top of a full-time work placement, and a BA Hons degree... can sometimes feel overwhelming.

I used to be jealous, jealous of the things that all my friends could do with ease. Jealous that whilst they're fretting over their dissertations I'm left fretting over how I'm gonna reach my lunch. Some days it doesn't feel fair. But then other days, honestly... I don't even notice and I don't think others do too.

The fact is..... I could be angry. Easily. I could be frustrated, and believe me somedays I am.... but more often than not, it doesn't cross my mind. Because after 21 years experience I've accepted that there will never be a day I don't need someone to reach something off a shelf or a day I can see over every counter and desk I greet. And in the mix of all of life's pressures... You can guarantee I am not adding an additional one in the form of my thoughts and frets.

We all need a little help sometimes... and although it took me a long time to accept it, my help just comes in the form of the little things. But in turn, my degree is allowing me to help others with big things. Big things that I can do, that others may not have mastered yet. So if it turns out that reaching a book off a top shelf is my biggest weakness...... I'm happy with that.

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